Week 13 Parlay

Giants @ Dolphins -4.5

Buccaneers (ML) @ Falcons

Vikings (ML) @ Lions

Cardinals -7.5 @ Bears

Ravens -4 @ Steelers

Washington @ Raiders UNDER 49.5

The Dolphins have been an absolute rollercoaster this year. Out of the gate, I had them as a sneaky wild card team, then they completely fell apart, and then they won four straight in the month of November. Tua was *literally* the best quarterback in the league over that stretch, and the defense allowed an average of only 12 points per contest. With the New York football Giants coming to town with a questionable —recently doubtful— tag on quarterback Daniel Jones, there appears to be a good chance that veteran backup Mike Glennon will be getting the nod. I don’t have much faith in the Giants to begin with, let alone if they’re limping.

Bucs moneyline on the road in Atlanta. Tampa Bay is 4-0 this year when they are favored by double digits, and are facing a closing line of 11 against the Falcons. The only reason I’m staying away from points here on Sunday is that Atlanta needs this win more than TB, and I expect them to compete. They are certainly in the hunt, but need to get hot now in order to succeed down the stretch. It’s a tough road ahead for ATL, and it starts here with the division leader. A cover from the Falcons would surprise me none, but then again, the Bucs are 4-0 against double digits this year. Moneyline is a super safety.

Vikings moneyline in Detroit. I feel very similarly about this one and the Bucs vs Falcons. Dalvin Cook is nursing a shoulder, and has not been officially ruled out, but was absent from practice Thursday and Friday. That typically doesn’t bode well for a running back’s Sunday status. The Vikes are a 7 point favorite, and even at full strength have not been great against spreads greater than 4 points. They play a ton of close games, and even though the Lions are hot garbage, I would dare to say that a cover from them on Sunday is probable. However, Minnesota has no business losing this game and should continue their push for a middle seed in the playoffs with a divisional victory over the cowardly Lions.

AZ -7.5 against daaaaa Bears. The Cardinals will have Kyler and D-Hop active for the first time since October and the Bears have lost you money as touchdown-or-more dogs three times this year and have only covered once. The best team in football calls a giant toaster oven in the middle of the desert their home, and although they are headed to the frozen tundra this week, I don’t expect any retaliatory fireworks from Chicago.

Ravens -4 in Pittsburgh is the 🚨 MONEY IN THE BANK 🚨 game of the week. The Ravens currently occupy the one seed in the AFC, on the heels of the rest of the conference, for lack of a better term, shitting the bed. I am really not that high on them in the big picture, and don’t think the AFC Championship will have anything to do with Baltimore, but this one is a cake walk. Lamar was a mess last week, and somehow still won by throwing four interceptions(?). His counterpart this week, Ben Rothlisberger, is actually broken. It’s somewhat heartbreaking to watch him at this point. There were so many good times and legendary moments with him in the limelight, but those days are past. Basically, you can kiss the idea of a shootout goodbye this week, and, additionally, the Steelers as a whole are pretty beat up. This is an opportunity for Baltimore to convince people they are serious, but it will have to be dominant to sway my opinion.

The Washington Football Team vs the Las Vegas Raiders will be going under 49.5 points. The Raiders have a ton to prove to themselves and the rest of the AFC West. Looking into my crystal ball, I see the Raiders victory coming by a wide margin. 31-17 to be precise. That number requires a couple of things: Vegas’ offense clicking on all cylinders, Vegas’ pass rush having its best game of the year, and the Taylor Heinicke flame finally burning out. There is no shot this is an upset game for the Raiders. They will take care of business, convincingly, and maintain relevancy in the AFC playoff picture. However, no matter how bad the Raiders beat up on the Team, there’s not going to be 50 points in this one.

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